Diary of Doom

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 7 - Evil Bong Must Die Part 1

It's 4/20 and as is tradition, we're dipping back into the Evil Bong waters to finally put this bad bong to bed. Dylan and Nathan from I Hope You Suffer band together once more against the power of FMCU (Full Moon Cinematic Universe). All your favorites, least favorites, and newcomers are here: EB, Rabbit, Larnell, the Gingerdeadman, and the Gingerweedman (arguably the only good thing about these "movies). Summarizing these films was akin to the ravings of a madman, so we broke it up into two parts for you. In the first installment, Dylan and Nathan tackle Evil Bong High-5 and Evil Bong 666. Suspecting that at least two of these entries started out as one movie, they stumble their way through a shitty weed store, the Gingerdeadman's horrible CGI mouth, doll sex, grave levels of bigotry and stereotypes, and flaming pussy portals to "Sexy Hell", a place where they still need a BIC lighter to smoke.

Part 2 is available right now if you're still with us!

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 6 - Resident Evil

It's time to get down in the club and spin-kick some zombie dogs to "Fist Fuck" by Nine Inch Nails. Dylan takes a break from the Resident Evil 4 Remake to welcome Kat and Jazz from Girl, That's Scary to stan for the 2002 film adaptation of the hit video game series (adaptation used pretty lightly). Passing over George Romero for Paul W.S. Anderson and regretfully scored by Marilyn Manson, the soundtrack also featured Slipknot, Coal Chamber, Rammstein, Fear Factory, Mudvayne, a really bad Depeche Mode song, and a wicked appearance by Method Man. As the trio dives into The Hive of Raccoon City, they discuss how this almost starred ski resort legal nightmare Gwyneth Paltrow, videotaping video games, zombies that follow the creed of Chef Boyardee, and, of course, the laser grid meat cuber.

Stay tuned for some more 4/20-themed episodes coming up later this month.

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 5 - The Scorpion King

Before he was a terrible CGI scorpion centaur, The Rock was The Scorpion King. For the first fresh episode of Movies from Green Hell, Kit from I Hope You Suffer returns to join Dylan in revisiting this incredibly early 2000s flick that was written by Solid Snake. Sporting an aggressively nu metal soundtrack that barely shows up in it, this is a film plagued by fire ants, yak piss, skullets, magical editing, and stolen Chinese dynamite powered by salt. 

This episode is proudly sponsored by the Bad Neighbors of I Hope You Suffer Association.

Note: Due to lag, we talk over each other a bit. I tried to edit it to the best of my abilities. And a lot of Hooch (dog) jangling.

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 4 - Jonah Hex

Revenge gets ugly? More like revenge gets shitty. Dylan makes Kit from I Hope You Suffer finally face down a film that Warner Bros. probably wants to forget exists: Jonah Hex. Despite boasting a $47 million budget and a soundtrack from Mastodon, Jonah Hex manages to fail on an immaculate level. Just a sampling of the weirdness this movie offers includes John Malkovich looking like Jon Schaffer, bowler hat magic, a guy named Slocum, would-be hellhounds, snake men, a truly baffling take on "limbo", Eli Whitney's WMDs, and a lot of crows.

This was recorded sometime in May 2022, but just got released now. Actual new episode coming at you on the first Friday of March!

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 3 - Mazes & Monsters

Dylan welcomes Bryan and Ryan from Doomsday Profit back to the podcast to talk about a movie inspired by Dungeons & Dragons. No, not THAT Dungeons & Dragons movie, we're talking about Tom Hanks' first film: Mazes & Monsters, made for TV in 1982 as the Satanic Panic was on the rise and featuring the Mayor from Jaws. Our heroic party attempts to see how just how bad DND is for the rest of us as well as wear a lot of hats, drink wine from the future, become guitar lecturers, and steal from the DTH department. Also Tom Hanks makes a lot of weird noises.

TW: We will be discussing suicide in the context of the film and the history surrounding it.

This was originally released on May 9, 2022 on Patreon.

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 2 - Evil Bong Blazes Again

In Episode 2 of MFGH, during the highest time of the year, Dylan watched some more of the lowest flicks of all time with the only host of I Hope You Suffer willing to return, Nathan Sizemore. The disappointed duo tackled three more entries in this unfortunate series: Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong, Gingerdeadman vs. Evil Bong, and Evil Bong 420, during which they highlighted space bongs, getting off at the bakery counter, a pastry tribunal, topless bowling alleys, quite possibly the most audacious scene in cinema history featuring the most hideous character ever, and a whole lot of cum for movies about weed.

If you want to get the whole bong rip, check out Chapter 73 of Diary of Doom where the first two Evil Bong movies were derided.

We have one more episode coming at you on Monday before the "fresh" ones start dropping on Friday, February 3.

This was originally released on April 19, 2022 on Patreon.

DOD Presents Movies from Green Hell - Episode 1 - Freaked!

The once-Patreon exclusive and then Toilet ov Hell featured podcast will now live here on the Diary of Doom feed for your listening displeasure. Today we debut it with not one, but two episodes to get the ball rolling. For anybody that does not know the schtick, Movies from Green Hell joins the detritus of a wasteland of movie podcasts that will focus on the discussion of (and probably lambasting) movies that feature heavy metal music in some capacity, no matter how tenuous, and terrible stoner flicks as Dylan forces others to join him on this very stupid quest. Movies from Green Hell will be released once a month on the first Friday, but we've got one more in the can for you on Monday before the freshies start dropping. 

In the debut episode, Dylan tackles a true cult relic of the 90s: Freaked! Along with him for round one are fellow freaks Jeremy Hunt (Qoheleth), Jon Michael (Cinema Duel), and Nathan Sizemore (I Hope You Suffer). As they toss back some Zygrote 24, they discuss this ooey-gooey masterpiece as well as Bob Vila, The Idiot Box, The Butthole Surfers connection, Rat Fink, and whatever Alex Winter is up to now.

This was originally released on April 4, 2022 on Patreon.

Chapter 155 - Merry Kyuss-mas

Cough, cough, cough, Merry Kyuss-mas!

Diary of Doom is closing out 2022 with our seemingly omnipresent guest, August West, by talking about a band that nobody has ever heard of before: Kyuss. After paying tribute to our friend, John Hopkins, and his mother, Reita, and running through some of their favorite albums of the year (highlighting Steve Albini's love for Dead Meadow), the dank duo delves into the short but sweet discography of one of the cornerstone bands of heavy music, touching on how exactly to say Kyuss, why legal battles suck the air out of bands, Kyuss Lives!, petition for John Garcia to front Danzig, how many Allen wrenches they have laying around, and a five-way battle of "Yeah!" Oh, and Dylan nearly passed out (again!) at some recent concerts.

Albums covered:

Sons of Kyuss (1990)

Wretch (1991)

Blues for the Red Sun (1992)

Welcome to Sky Valley (1994)

...And the Circus Leaves Town (1995)

Hope everybody is braving the cold right now and has a safe and happy new year!

Chapter 154 - Diary Deep Dive Ep. 6 - Zoroaster

Where do we even start with this episode? Back in May, longtime returning guest August West agreed to join Dylan in talking about a band crucial to his formative years as a metal fan. This seemingly mundane task was upended by a tornado (no joke) and massive fatigue (likely a symptom of being forced to listen to Dylan ramble), resulting in an episode recorded over the course of three sessions. But eventually, they got their shit together to talk about Atlanta, GA sludge outfit, Zoroaster. They delve into their discography and also manage to tell Dylan's mom about Come to Grief, get Mortiis to give DOD the thumbs up, vacuum up rattlesnakes, get Mike IX's approval of Bud Light Seltzer, praise Fred Ward's finest role as the Night Vulture, learn all about Master Therion, find out why Dylan doesn't listen to singles, get old with Clutch, and get ripped off by Skillet. 

Albums Covered:

Zoroaster (2005)

Dog Magic (2007)

Voice of Saturn (2009)

Matador (2010)

Happy holidays everybody! Stay safe out there, smoke weed, and be good to each other.

Chapter 153 - Foehammer

"And this is Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were made for the Goblin Wars long ago..."

Not quite sure if the Goblin Wars ever ended since everybody seems to be diving into goblin mode these days. But on Diary of Doom, we are taking it low and slow, which doesn't seem to line up with the proprietors of said goblin mode. Dylan welcomes Jay Cardinell of Foehammer, one-half of the truly mammoth Virginia doom duo. They've got a new album out this year called Monumentum and if you're in the market for something really fucking heavy, it's probably your ticket. Amidst a whole lot of chatter about Tolkien and Ursula K. Le Guin, they get into the trve nature of Metal Archives, why Jay digs Sleep's Volume 1 so much, being in a band called The Bible (and many others), Gandalf's sword, toxic fan culture, the challenges of crafting lore in song form, if Hobbit metal exists, and a bad time at Hammerstein Ballroom.

Support Foehammer

Track featured is "The Great Cortège I - Accession Of The Elder" off Monumentum, out now!